I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
