Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
