i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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