I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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