But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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