i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
