i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
ok first of all what the fuck
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
