first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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