? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
