Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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