If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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