i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
