I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
