She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
