She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
