sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
