let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
