so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
