At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
