Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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