Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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