Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
4 words: hood of his car
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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