she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
