I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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