We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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