if i can run in heels then i can drive
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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