so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
