The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
