no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can I color on your dick again?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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