my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
