Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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