yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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