He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
