I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
