my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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