I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
