His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
