Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
