dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
