so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
