You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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