the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
