tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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