Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
