Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
