I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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