dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
