i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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