I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
