i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
