Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
