Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
