No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
