It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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