well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My life is pants optional.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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